Unequally Yoked

What does it mean for someone to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (2 Corinthians 6:14)?

What a great question! This statement of “unequally yoked” most often comes up as it relates to marriage. Before we get there, however, let’s lay it out. The yoking of one to another is to become tied to them in such a way as those being yoked are now about accomplishing the same mission. Oxen, for example. In a metaphorical sense, when a student would be accepted by a rabbi, he took on the “yoke” of the rabbi – that is, what the rabbi teaches. As disciples of Jesus, we take on his yoke (a light burden, so he says), and we work with him to accomplish his goal.

Being yoked with another pertains to partnership. Being unequally yoked with an unbeliever also pertains to marriage, but I do not believe it is only in marriages. Unbelievers are not yoked with Jesus. They have not taken on the mission and responded to his call. In such a manner, they are effectively workingagainst Jesus. Being joined in marriage to one who is not joined to Jesus is being unequally yoked – there is now a covenant bond between two who serve different masters. Additionally, in 1 Corinthians 7:39, Paul writes that a woman must only marry a man who is “in the Lord.” The married couple must have "one common allegiance to the true God” (John Piper, Bloodlines p. 210). I believe that this yoking has more far reaching ramifications in how one conducts oneself in business and life, but that this is the key aspect of these verses.

I do not find that these restrictions can be appropriately applied to ethnic, racial, political, or even denominational “lines”. I don’t know if that can be stated strongly enough.

What version of the Bible should I use for preaching?

This is a quick series on "What version...?" recommendations. It's not an in-depth study or anything like that. Very informal.

When preaching, I generally use the New Living Translation, unless I have found that a different or literal version better illustrates or speaks to a key point based on which word is chosen. I may find that the idea in the NLT is accurate, but may feel compelled that the precise word is lacking and so go to the ESV or even NIV.

I remember one pastor preached a message and based a key point of the sermon on a word that was only in the NLT translation. He told everyone to underline that word in their Bibles. He didn't realize that it wasn't in everyone's Bible, because he had only used the NLT to study.

The NLT is great for preaching from, because it was designed to be easily understood language. As a listener who is not familiar with scripture, it is far easier to understand what is being said when it is being read from the NLT than from the ESV or even New King James.

Open.LifeChurch.TV

Brothers and Sisters,

I strongly encourage you to investigate and consider using the free resource at Open.LifeChurch.tv. What a blessing it is for LifeChurch.tv to share these freely (you do have to agree to a license agreement, but it's still free). Beyond the surface of the free videos and background images, there are also entire message series, outlines, supporting materials, and small group discussion questions.

"I can't worship on Sunday mornings like I do [at youth gathering]! My mom is there!"

This statement is simultaneously hilarious, sad, and true. Over the last three years, my heart has been blessed by the progress made and depth of worship attained by the students at our youth gathering. The truth is, if there was some sort of meeting scheduled on Thursday night that had some sort of time machine (with or without flux capacitor, I don't want to get technical), that would take our students now back to then(three years ago), we would have quite the discussion afterward.  Granted, most of that discussion would be regarding how cool it was to time travel, and wondering why we didn't make bets on how great the Yankees would do in the World Series in 2009 (world champs), but eventually we would be able to really talk about the differences we noticed.

So what changed?  Hearts changed.  We elevated the Word of God, and more deliberately preached from scripture about what it means to worship.  I remember it well-- we preached a series on "Resisting The Devil," which included a message on the occult and a message on what it means to worship.  The frustrated worship leader had left for another congregation where he felt he be utilized more to God's purpose.  We practiced worshiping scripturally.  We exercised those muscles that caused us to kneel, lay prostrate, and raise our hands.  That month of May, three years ago, saw the first sparks of real Spirit-breathed life in worship from the community of believers who were gathered.

What else happened? There were some kids who attended so intermittently that when they showed up a few weeks later, they were stunned.  They were behind the curve, and they didn't understand what was happening.  Some of them immediately responded to the new, Spiritual and expressive dynamic, but some bucked against that.  They essentially said, "I don't know what's happening, and I don't want to know."  Three years later, and these students still have a chip on their shoulder around their peers.  It was a chip that was there before this watershed experience, but that has persisted, despite the attempts to reach out to them.

And now, so many years later, the younger kids (6th, 7th, 8th) are able to look at the examples of appropriate and passionate worship that the older students are living; examples that those older kids didn't have.  We're building on foundations, and it's exciting! What example are the older students setting at your student ministry? Are they bringing the younger ones up along side them? Are they belittling their efforts? Have they forgotten where they came from (Deut 5:15)?

Before	Now
Like pulling teeth to explain that worship is not just singing songs-- it's about attitude	Able to ignore outside distractions and focus on Jesus
Just singing songs, goofing around	Giving themselves to God in worship
No physical posture of worship	Laying prostrate, raising hands, kneeling
No response to God's revelation	Immediate and obedient responses to God's revelation and prompting
"Worship" meant "Christian Songs"	Worship means the heart and attitude we have when we approach God. Just because it's "Christian-themed" doesn't mean it's worship
Only worship when feeling like it	We worship because God commands it, and his revelation to us requires nothing less
Leaving the same as arrived	Allowing God to transform through worship. Leaving better than arrived.
Only singing songs that are good, or make me feel good, or that I like	Slowly incorporating hymns of our Christian heritage and songs that come from scripture and doctrine-- not just "feel good" songs that you might hear on pop radio.

But Sunday mornings, it's a different story.  The students sit in the front rows of the congregation, but they don't "enter in" to worship like I know they do.  They are oppressed by fear.  I challenged them about this, and the response that came back to me was, "I can't worship on Sunday mornings like I do [at youth gathering]!  My mom is there!"  I don't believe that they're afraid of their parents watching them worship-- I think it's more about the car ride home and the conversations that they are trying to avoid. They seem to want to worship God, but don't want to deal with the embarrassment of being noticed by their parents doing it!

This is the desire to remain anonymous; to avoid attention from parents. If only we could help them realize that most of their parents will be thrilled by seeing such dedication and passion. God would be pleased with their sacrifice and praise. And the example that they set in what they teach, the way they live, their love, their faith, and their purity will free others to worship God as freely (1 Tim 4:12).

On Their Own

The question may come to a youth pastor or leader, the shepherd, of "when to let go?"  When has discipleship set in?  When are the training wheels off?  If it is a matter of sooner or later, I would say later, not sooner.

 

The Importance of Retreats - Recap

Retreats, camps, meetings, lock-ins, advances... Call them what you want, but these times are highly important for community development.

This series outlines just some of the importance of retreats for student ministry.

• The Importance of Retreats
• Road Trip
• Shared Tribe Experiences
• A New/Different Voice
• Opportunities
• Testimonies
• Retreat Tips
• Coming Home

The Importance of Retreats - Shared Tribe Experiences

Shared Tribe Experiences

The community that is built in 48 hours of immersion as a community at a retreat is worth more than 12 weeks of 2-hour meetings.  The depth of community that happens as students worship together for hours and hours over the course of a weekend is unobtainable through the normal youth gathering structure, and it is not to be ignored.

New Friends

The friendships that are formed not just within the tribe but with other students from the area are great to see.  It's a subtle encouragement that says, This is not limited to you.  God is moving all over the place!  You are not alone.

Witness

At retreats and camps, students are able to witness several things.

1. Other people worshiping God
2. Other ways people worship
3. God moving in others
4. God moving in their friends

Continued...

Adopting a Spiritual Vocabulary - Series

Adam Posegate shared a four-part series on Adopting a Spiritual Vocabulary, and the importance of what it is we speak into the lives of those we shepherd.

Part 1: What is Normal?
Part 2: Does our "Normal" Honor God?
Part 3: A Different Type of Relationship
Part 4: Conclusion

Adopting a Spiritual Vocabulary - Part 4

Conclusion

This culture starts with our vocabulary. We must adopt a spiritual vocabulary. We must be in prayer and moving in the Spirit. When we tell someone of a challenge in our lives, we most not omit that we have prayed and what God is telling us and what we learned from scripture as we studied. We must not just give the summary of conclusion, but we must share what God has done in us and to us and for us, because that is our testimony (Acts 4:33, 2 Timothy 1:8).

For me, this started when I was outside of church gatherings. It was with family members. It was with people at work. It meant honoring God in how I talked about my life and the things in my life to others. And this was hard. Strangely, it was just as hard to begin that sort of conversation with those in the church. This is because up until that point, even though we had Christ in common, our conversation topics had focused on music or television or other things. God, as a topic of conversation, was relegated to leadership meetings and prayers, when we really "got down to business."

Adopting a Spiritual Vocabulary - Part 3

A different type of relationship

The relationship we develop with our students must be a spiritual relationship. We reap what we sow. If 100% of our conversations with a person are about sports, then that person will only feel comfortable discussing sports with us. If 100% of our conversations are about fashion, then our discussions will never go beyond the superficial.

The different kind of relationship I am talking about doesn't mean to omit sports, or politics, or news, or the world from conversations. It means that our vocabulary must reflect a new cultural mind set of the Kingdom of God.

It means praying for someone immediately, with your hand on their shoulder, instead of saying, "I'll pray for you," and walking away to remember or forget.

It means talking openly about the good things that Jesus has done in our lives (that's our testimony, friends), instead of commenting on how lucky we are.

It means going beyond saying, "I am blessed," to saying how good God really is.

It means cultivating a culture in your gatherings that is one of love; using the word "love."

It means seeing opportunities to speak truth into peoples' lives and making the most of those opportunities, no matter how small.

It means directing conversations back to things that are God-honoring, and explaining why we do that.

It means we stop talking about "going to church" and we start talking about "being the church."

It means continuing to discuss sin honestly, but also elevating the discussion of God's glory and salvation.

It means making the culture of our gatherings and our relationships founded on scripture and Jesus and God and the Holy Spirit so that we are creating a blatantly different "normal." And it means teaching those things to our leaders. And it means teaching those things to our students so that we have a new culture (which is really an old culture). This culture is spiritual and it is Kingdom-focused.

To be continued...

Adopting a Spiritual Vocabulary - Part 2

Is our culture E!, People, and gossip?

If a significant (read: great amount of) of our conversations revolve "entertainment news" or celebrities or even the personal and dating lives of those around us, there's a chance that our "normal" is gossip. Does our "normal" honor God? Are we praying for others as we consider them, or are we talking about everything they do wrong?

Is our culture political, CNN, and Fox News?

If most of our time is spent preaching and teaching moral theism and cultural values, instead of equipping students to be disciples and learn these things from scripture on their own, we may be missing the mark. Getting conservative Christians riled up about politically conservative values is lazy when only done for the sake of preaching to the choir. Rev. Tim Snell once said, "You shouldn't talk about those in elected office in ways that you wouldn't let your own children speak to you." He's right. We cannot make our gatherings a political safe haven for either the left or the right. Chances are, 90% of our students don't really care about politics anyway. We must create a spiritual safe haven and sanctuary-- sacred space that is set apart for worshiping God and learning how to be his disciples.

Is our culture ESPN and SportsCenter?

I once served with a small group leader who would almost exclusively talk sports with his group of guys. Sometimes, to seem relevant, he would also entertain conversation about video games. When I would fill in for him to cover the supporting spiritual materials for that evening's gathering, the kids would comment how they never go over "that stuff." This leader would say that he was doing this under the umbrella of "building relationships." Their normal was sports. In 10 years, sports won't give our students the tools for discipleship that they can only get from scripture. We must love our

students enough to build a different type of relationship.

To be continued...

Adopting a Spiritual Vocabulary - Part 1

Let's talk about talking. Let's talk about your vocabulary. What is "normal" and what is "weird"?

What is normal?

Normal, right now, is to avoid talking about the spiritual, the Holy, and the Godly. It is one that seeks to avoid offense. This "normal" is our culture, and it's missing the mark. We must not be offended on account of Jesus (Luke 7:23). We must boldly and in the power of the Holy Spirit (and not our own power) testify to God's greatness. Our testimony is our story. It is what we relate about who God is to us. If we are ashamed or afraid to tell what God has done, and we use whispers to relay this information, we are not living in God's fullness and freedom. Let me be clear that I am talking to Americans who have freedom of speech, but who fail to take advantage of that.

"Normal" is the language of our culture. So, we must ask ourselves, what is our culture?

To be continued...

Church Relevance article re: Francis Chan

Church Relevance is a resource I use frequently. Check out Kent's notes from a session led by Francis Chan (Crazy Love).

I love the point made to not get distracted by the details (while I say still pay attention to those details). Do not let them distract you from your mission.

What mission has God called your ministry to perform? I'm guessing, as you pray, it has something to do with "making disciples of all nations."

On Games

"We must make our youth group 'fun' so that kids want to be there! Then, while they're a captive audience, we preach and worship, and then they've experienced God without even realizing it!"

While that may be an over-simplification, if you really think about it, this is not far from the truth of many youth groups. Also, side note: if you know me, you know that "youth group" is practically a dirty word (youth group is who they are, vaguely by age, and not what they do). Say, for example, that your youth gathering is once a week for two hours. That's 2 out of 168 hours (24 hours x 7 days) in the week. For 166 other hours, your students are not at your youth gathering, and they are doing whatever in the world they want during those hours -- we have no direct influence. We need to take full advantage of the time we do have. As their shepherds, we must equip them to be disciples during those other 166 hours (yes, I'm including sleep time, because it's too hard to determine how many hours of sleep a teenager actually gets).

"If we don't have games, kids won't come."
Kids will come to youth gathering for a variety of reasons. They might want to know more about Jesus. They like the music. Their parents force them to. Maybe they even like the games. I am of the viewpoint that "recruiting" doesn't happen because of the games we play, but because of the relationships the have already developed or are developing. I posit that this is the number one "recruiting" method. We must equip our students to develop godly relationships with others, inviting them to youth gathering as prompted by the Holy Spirit. It's not about numbers. 10 students who are learning discipleship will be more effective in the Kingdom than 1,000 students who are merely being entertained.

What I am NOT saying
What I am not saying is that there should be no games, and that there should be no fun. On the contrary, there should be games. There should be fun. These are cultural languages that can speak to a higher truth. Games can support our efforts in ministry. The games should be engaging, and they should have a purpose. Everything you do in ministry should have a purpose. Start with the purpose (right, Rev. Warren?), and then act. The question is what is the purpose of the ministry?

Is the purpose entertainment?

Is the purpose discipleship?

Is entertainment the bait to trick kids into being discipled?

Then, after you have determined what the purpose of your ministry is, ask yourself these two questions:

1. Is this a stupid purpose?
2. Is this scriptural?

If it is stupid and unscriptural (entertainment as bait), then you have a bad purpose.
If it is stupid (foolish) by human standards, but scriptural and God-breathed, then you must do it.
If it is not stupid (foolish), and it is scriptural, then you have a sturdy foundation for proceeding.

What I am saying
"Is there even a good reason to play games?" Absolutely! There are many good reasons (even at your weekly youth gathering), but don't start with an idea and then look for a reason to do it. Start with your reason, and then look for a way to accomplish your goal.

For example, "We have a lot of kids who bring friends and guests, and not everyone knows each others' name. What can we do?" How about an icebreaker game that gets people to interact with everyone. Make a bingo chart with 24 personal items they must ask of the people in the room, then get signatures. That's just an example, but it gets people asking questions and learning about each other.

When God moves in one's life, it is not because they were able to pop the most balloons while blindfolded and dizzy (I don't know if this game actually exists, but it should!). It is because the Holy Spirit is invited to do something real in a person's life. There must be a deliberate approach to student ministry that does not include entertainment as bait. Discipleship must be direct, deliberate, and unapologetic. We are preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ, who was crucified, died, and resurrected in atonement for the sins of every person. We are preaching a life lived for God and his purpose.

Whatever you choose to do, do it in obedience to God and in the power of his Holy Spirit.

Worship, Church, and Spiritual Discipline

Worship, much like church, is a lifestyle, not a designated time. Church is not the place that we gather. We do not go to church. We are the church. The church assembles, dissembles, and lives as individuals in a lifestyle of being the church. That is church. So too is worship.